Deep Hurt
by lordtrayus
Summary: When Anakin and Ahsoka are sent to Tatooine to deal with a Tusken threat, their relationship takes a beating. Anakin then decides to tell her everything, and more besides! Rated M for safety!


**Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars (and a warning: this is the most explicit stuff I've written!)**

Anakin grunted as he got back in the _Twilight_. He hadn't even wanted to come here in the first place.

Yoda, in his infinite wisdom, had thought it would be prudent to send Anakin and Ahsoka back to Tatooine, his home planet, to quell a Tusken Raider uprising. Obi-Wan had argued that Anakin shouldn't be sent, but Yoda had been insistent.

"Go he must, to confront his demons. Then freed of them he shall be." Yoda had said certainly.

Well he'd gotten that one wrong.

They had landed the ship in Mos Espa, where he had suffered the realities of slavery all over again as his memories came flooding back. He could remember being enslaved to Watto, and having to work for his master and do everything no normal person should. He recalled being looked down on, or classed as a non-person simply because he was a slave. He'd then been grasped by a bizarre impulse that he couldn't explain to see where he had grown up.

"_This is where I grew up." he had mumbled._

"_Master? Are you alright?" Ahsoka had asked, concerned._

_He had ignored her and had entered the empty slave quarters, it's occupiers out. He had explored, so that very little had changed, despite some few furnishings and his room being less cluttered. He came out to see Ahsoka's wide blue eyes giving him a compassionate look._

"_Are you okay?" she had asked tenderly._

"_I'm fine Ahsoka." he snapped, and went outside._

They had continued on through the town, Ahsoka keeping her distance, looking hurt. He had ignored her. She had no business badgering him, specially when he didn't want to be on the world in the first place. He'd rather she left him alone.

They had left the city, headed for the Junland Wastes on a skiff. She'd then tried again to get him to open up.

"_Master? Do you want to talk?" she asked._

_Anakin turned and glared at her._

"_Ahsoka, if I wanted to talk I would have talked already. Just drop it!" he scolded._

_Ahsoka had sent him a hurt glance._

"_Alright, be that way. I'm only trying to help you." she said, then stalked off to the other end of the skiff. _

They had arrived in the Junland Wastes, and Anakin realised with an angry pang where he'd landed the skiff. They'd arrived in the same town where his mother had been murdered. Dark anger and a lust for more blood filled him then. The Tusken animals had mutilated his mother, and then she'd died in his arms. They had deserved what had happened to them, every last one of them. Despite the fact that he knew he had killed everything there, and probably rendered it inhospitable, he wanted more blood to be spilled in that area. As such, he'd nearly leapt a foot in the air and decapitated Ahsoka when she'd touched his arm.

"_AHSOKA!" he yelled._

_She'd taken a frightened step back, looking worriedly up at him, as though scared he would do something to her._

"_S-sorry, I just got a bit scared…" she began, then backed away._

_He let out a deep sigh, and strode through the deserted camp._

"_What happened here?" she asked in a small voice._

"_No concern of yours." he responded curtly as he came to the very tent his mother had died in._

"_Why do you keep biting my head off?" she demanded tearfully._

"_Because you're butting in when it's no concern of yours! Leave it alone!" he shouted back at her._

_She'd fled back to the skiff then, crying. He'd let her go and had entered the hole he had cut the last time he was there. Dreadful memories of loss, pain, anger, regret and sadness came flooding back and he had to leave. He got back in the skiff, and had flown the skiff further away from civilisation than that was, looking for the main Tusken encampment. _

They'd travelled for hours, Ahsoka staying at the back of the skiff while he'd directed it. He knew she was frightened and upset, but he didn't have the time or patience to deal with it then. They'd travelled for hours, until he spotted a massive Tusken camp in the middle of the desert. There were hundreds of them.

"_There they are." he growled viciously._

"_Master, why…?" Ahsoka began._

"_Ahsoka. I told you to keep quiet. Now listen. These Tuskens are animals, and are very dangerous. Do not let them get too close. And keep close to me." he warned her._

_Ahsoka sent him a petulant look._

"_I know how dangerous they are. I'm not stupid." she said snippily._

"_You're doing a good impression of it then." Anakin growled, before he could stop himself._

_She'd sent him a hurt glance, and had leapt off the skiff. He then followed._

They had entered the camp, and Anakin could feel bloodlust welling inside him. Part of him craved the slaughter that was about to come. Without the leadership, the clans would disperse. Their mission would be accomplished and they could kill loads more Tuskens in the process, and hence make the galaxy a better place.

The battle had begun, the two Jedi cutting into the massive clan of Tuskens. Anakin could feel the dark side tugging at him, and he started to truly enjoy the slaughter. Tusken cries of anger became those of fear as he hacked and slashed his way through the camp.

"_MASTER!" Ahsoka cried in terror._

_A group of Tuskens had ambushed her, and were grabbing at her, trying to either hold her hostage or drag her away._

_Anakin couldn't believe it. It was happening again. He would lose someone else he cared to these monsters., He couldn't lose Ahsoka._

_So he gave himself to his fury._

"_Ahsoka, close your eyes." he warned, and then it began._

_A few seconds later his bloody slaughter was over. Body parts littered the area surrounding his Padawan, who was covered in Tusken blood. She was shaking and was scared out of her wits. Anakin walked over to her._

"_Are you alright?"_

_She was too scared to speak, and Anakin shoved her back onto the skiff. He took them away from the carnage site, their mission completed. Ahsoka sat whimpering in the back all the way._

"_I told you to stay close to me." he said to her as they approached Mos Espa._

_She found her voice, which was still full of terror and sounded upset._

"_I-I tried! But you m-moved so fast…" she sobbed._

"_Ahsoka, I cant protect you if you cant keep up." he said to her, calmer now that he knew he was leaving the world behind._

_Ahsoka then regained her fighting spirit._

"_Protect me! You've done nothing but try to get rid of me, block me out or stop me being with you since we got here! Well fine! If that's the way you want it, I'll play along! When we get back to Coruscant I'll ask for a new master!" she screamed at him, jumped off the skiff and ran to her quarters in the ship._

Anakin grimaced as he set the ship into space. Now that he was away from Tatooine, his mind cleared. And then he realised how horrible he had been to Ahsoka. He'd treated her like dirt, bullied her and frightened her out of her mind, before culminating in a massive row which wouldn't have occurred if he'd been open with her in the first place. She'd said she would leave and get a new master. He didn't want that.

He thought back to his actions in the camp, when he had saved Ahsoka, by slicing the Tuskens trying to capture her up into little tiny pieces. Fair enough, if a Padawan was in danger, their master would normally neutralise the threat. But not the way he had done it. His actions indicated one thing, the thing he had been trying to deny for ages.

He was in love with her.

And he'd done a horrible job of showing it.

He had to talk to her, tell her everything, and convince her not to leave before he lost her forever. As such, he set the ship into hyperspace and went through to her quarters.

The door was surprisingly, or perhaps not so, locked.

He knocked lightly on the door, and then opened it with the Force.

His gorgeous Togruta Padawan was sitting on her bed, staring out of the viewport opposite into the massive tunnel that was hyperspace. Her eyes, normally vivid blue, were a deep black, showing how bad she was feeling, tear stains had turned her red skin pink in places, and her head tails were dropping in her sadness, which he suspected they would be able to feel on Coruscant.

"Ahsoka…" he said tentatively.

She just turned and faced the wall. Anakin felt a pang in his heart, and he could appreciate how deeply he had hurt the little Jedi. He sat down beside her.

"Ahsoka, I came here to apologise."

She remained staring at the wall, and he could feel the hurt and fright emanating off her like a beacon.

"Ahsoka, I acted like, well to put it frankly, like a right bastard to you down there. And I shouldn't have. My issues with Tatooine weren't anything to do with you, and I took them out on you." he said.

Her head moved a little bit, and he took that as progress.

"So I'm going to tell you, each reason why I was so horrible down there. Where we went first was where I grew up as a slave. It reminded me of what I used to be, weak and afraid, a slave who's existence depended don his master's will. And it was where I saw my mum before I saw her die. And I took out the fact that all those feelings came rushing back on you, and I shouldn't have. I'm sorry." he said.

She still remained looking at the wall.

"The first time I yelled, on the skiff, was because you wouldn't leave me alone to think things through. I know you only wanted to help, but I was too caught up in my own problems to realise that. I'm sorry."

He heard her sniff.

Then, eh took a deep breath and braced himself for the worst.

"When I jumped on you at the first camp, it's because that's where my mother died. She died in my arms in that tent I went to after I made you run off. When she died, I…I lost it. I killed every single Tusken in the camp. You asked what happened there? I happened. I killed every last one of them for what they had done. And that's why I just got worse. I was worried that my past was going to catch up with me, that I would go insane there. When we were in the camp, I just wanted to kill, lash out. So I lashed out at you, and I shouldn't have. And then, when we went to the main camp, I was worried you were going to get into trouble, so I was horrible to you again. I shouldn't have been. I don't think you're stupid. In fact, you're probably more intelligent than our enlightened leader." he said bitterly.

She hadn't turned, but he could feel her shock in the Force, so he figured he'd come clean.

"When I saw those Tuskens try to drag you off, I lost all control. I thought those monsters were going to do to you what they did to my mum, and I couldn't let that happen. That's why I killed them the way I did. It was wrong, and stank of the dark side, but I refused to lose another person I care about to those monsters." he finished.

She still said nothing.

"And when I told you off, I was just trying to get you back to normal."

She still said nothing, and Anakin was getting desperate.

"Ahsoka, I am so, so, so sorry for the way I acted down there. Nothing can excuse the way I treated you down there. I'm so sorry." he said.

Finally she turned around, and started sobbing into his shoulder. He hugged her to him, and rubbed her back as her tears soaked through his robes. Her entire small body shook as she cried.

"Shh. It's alright honey. Shh, shh, shhh." he whispered as she cried.

"Ahsoka, I'm really sorry. I will never, ever treat you that again. I will never subject you to that again. I promise." he said earnestly as he continued to hug her, and felt tears well up in his own eyes.

"You did that? The Tusken camp?" she asked meekly.

Anakin nodded grimly.

"Yes. I regret doing it, but I'm also glad I did it. Does that make sense?" he asked.

She nodded slightly.

"I understand why you did it. I just wish you'd told me. I was so scared when we went there. And then you came a second away from killing me." she said, shuddering tearfully.

Anakin hugged her tighter.

"I know. I'm sorry. Really sorry I did that. You wont have to go through that again." he vowed.

She sniffed slightly.

"And what you did to those Tuskens that tried to kidnap me…it scared the hell out of me."

Anakin nodded, pressing his face against her cheek.

"I'm sorry you had to see that. But I couldn't watch those things torture another person that I love." he said.

She broke off.

"You love me?" she asked.

He smiled at her slightly.

"Yes. I'm in love with you Ahsoka."

She snorted angrily.

"Well you have a funny way of showing it." she said irritably.

"Do you still want to go and get a new master?" he asked, downhearted.

Ahsoka looked at him, and shook her head.

"No. I'll give you one more chance." she said.

He hugged her joyfully.

"Thank you. I didn't want to lose you. I care for you too much." he whispered in her ear.

She smiled at him, cautiously.

Anakin stared at her sadly, then stroked the last remnants of her tears off her cheek.

"I will never do that to you again." he said.

Ahsoka nodded.

"I heard. Next time, just talk to me, ok?" she asked, a smile coming back to her face.

"Yeah. I will." he promised.

Ahsoka then huddled up to him, and he obligingly cuddled her.

"I don't think I want to leave you anyway." she said.

"How come? Not that I'm complaining." he said quickly.

She grinned.

"Well I cant be with the guy I love if I'm not here can I?" she asked, before nuzzling his shoulder.

He looked at her.

"You love me?" he asked.

She smiled.

"Yes." she said simply, but he could hear the love for him in her voice.

"Oh Ahsoka…" he said, feeling worse about the way he'd treated her.

She giggled slightly.

"It's alright. We wont say anything more about it." she decided, then tried to get up.

Anakin caught her cheek, held it still, and then kissed her, deeply and passionately. He moaned slightly in his mouth as he kissed her, enjoying the experience. He felt her hands stroke his brown hair as she raised her hands behind his neck and started to run her fingers through it. He released her from the kiss, and sighed in exultation.

"Wow." he said softly.

"Yeah. Wow." she said, smiling.

He kissed her again, and this time she unfurled her body, kneeling to just below his height as he did so. He moaned quietly in the back of his mouth as she responded, and she pushed him back, gently against the wall, kissing him and moaning as she did so. She stroked his hair as the kiss continued, and Anakin wrapped his arms around her as she got closer to his body, which was starting to sweat. He could feel himself getting excited, and Ahsoka was starting to pant slightly when he broke off again.

"I love you." he breathed, taking in her beautiful body.

"I love you too." she whispered, kissing his cheek.

Anakin grinned as he kissed her neck.

"I wont treat you that way ever again." referring to his earlier behaviour.

She smiled mischievously.

"You can treat me this way again though! Anytime you like!" she said, grinned like a predator.

Anakin grinned and moaned in agreement as she kissed him again. She pushed him down and he decided to let this take care of itself. He felt Ahsoka start to undo his robes, and smiled as he reciprocated. She continued to kiss him, their issues forgotten. Anakin was panting, as was she.

"Anakin?" she asked as she kissed his bare chest.

"Yeah honey?" he asked breathlessly, kissing her head tails as they draped over him.

"Just so as you know: I forgive you." she said as he got closer to her centre.

"Good. Ahsoka?" he asked as he found what he was looking for and acted on the new information.

"Mmm hmm?" she asked as he started to stroke her tails.

""I didn't mean anything of what I said on Tatooine." he said as he started to shudder with anticipation as he started to thrust.

Ahsoka took an exhilarated breath, then kissed his chest again as he thrusted more.

"No. You got one thing right." she said as she rubbed her hands up his body.

"Really? What?" he asked as he got closer.

"I am stupid." she panted.

"What? No you aren't love." he said.

"Let me finish. I'm stupid for not doing this a lot sooner." she grinned cheekily and kissed him as he let loose.

He grinned as she lay down on top of him, both of them covered in sweat.

"I love you Ahsoka." he panted.

"I love you too." she said, kissing his jaw while stroking his hair.

He smiled as he wrapped his arms around her as they rolled over in her bed. She snuggled up to him, comfortable and loving.

"I wont hurt you like that again." he repeated.

"I know. Just remember my darling. I've got you under my thumb now. You upset me, you'll know about it." she promised.

Anakin kissed her as she wrapped her arms around him.

"I don't doubt you for a second my love." he said and snuggled up beside her before they both drifted off to sleep.

**Well!**

**I couldnt beleive I was writing that but there you are. I hope you liked that (the two of them certainly did at the end), and I figured another Anakin/Ahsoka story was in order, and it came to me that one where Anakin upsets her would be ideal. As such, you got the Tusken story, which for this story is set after the film.**

**Oh, and this is serpate from my other Clone Wars and the other Anakin/Ahsoka story too!**

**Please read and review! And pelaee be nice, this is the first time I've done one this dirty before!**


End file.
